We’d like to announce the 7 amazing groups that will be hosting Kennel Hashpitality Suites during the Phoenix InterAm. They will “woo” you with free drinks and general debauchery that will surely rock your shiggy socks off(!)
In no particular order:
Here in Phoenix we pride ourselves on a memorable experience whether you come for a Red Dress, or any of our hashes which are available any day of the week.
We will be hosting 2, count ’em 2 Hashpitality Suites!
- Our first suite will be located in the presidential suite of the hotel where we will be displaying (showing off) all 13 of the Phoenix-Area kennels you can enjoy . You can experience a little somethin’-somethin’ from each one. Light snacks will be available in the morning to get your engine running.
- Our second will be a “Screw Phoenix” Hashpitality Suite. Let’s face it, we all love to screw Phoenix, come leave us a note of your favorite way to screw us.
BOTH suites will be open 24 hours a day to quench your thirst with copious amounts of beer and good times. On-On
We look forward to seeing you soon!
Purple Penis Protector & On The Rag
Do you like Unicorns?
Do you like boobs?
Do you need more people wearing sarongs in your life?
Have you always wanted to do a Zippy Trail?
Then do we have a room for you! LARP H3 (Lard Asses Running Poorly) is here to support your plan to NEVER LEAVE CAMP! So, whether it’s your plan to NEVER LEAVE CAMP or you miss the 5am trail sign ups or 8am bus departure, LARP H3 has you covered. Throw on your sarong and stop in and hare a trail or two (over to the keg), pick up a limited-edition Kennel patch for $3, snuggle with Fluffles the mascot, chill on one of the giant inflatable chairs for a spell, see if TNT will show you how she got named, or start up a game of 3-Man!
When will this amazing room be ready for you?! Friday 3pm until Dinner, Saturday/Sunday 10am-Dinner.
But wait there’s more! Cider is a way of life, mimosa’s happen, rabbit food and orange food are a thing, and boozy punch why not!! You never know WHEN—so you need to come back frequently!
See you soon,
Bimbos and Wankers!
What is Wisconsin famous for? Beer! Cheese! Serial Killers! Meat in our Bloody Marys! Three of those things are pretty fucking awesome! Come to the MadisonH3 Hashpitality Suite for a celebration of all things Wisconsin, where you definitely won’t be killed and eaten. Probably.
To start with, we’ll have an adventure in the Great North Woods, where people subsist on beef jerky because the refrigerator is too far from the fishin’ hole to bother and have sex with deer because Finns and Norwegians are too antisocial to risk having sex with each other! We’ll play traditional Wisconsin drinking games like “Drink”, where you drink to avoid talking to your fishing buddies. The day after our trip to Up Nort’ we’ll need to kill our hangovers with a traditional Sconnie brunch. Because puking sucks, so why not make it worse by making sure you’re puking Bloody Mary (or extra spicy Bloody Maria), pickled herring, and beefstick! And when you think all the Wisconsin is finally too much, we’ll celebrate all the various sexual misadventures that occurred during InterAm by hosting a Ouisconsing Wedding! New Glarus beer! Polka! Hammerschlagen! Flippy (Strippy?) Cup! On-On Wisconsin!
Hours to be announced!
Big Hump H3
We’re bringing a taste of St. Louis to the Phoenix this year in the Big Hump H3 Hashpitality suite. Come and experience all that St. Louis hashing has to offer, minus the shitty running part. We have 5 kennels, each with their own style of debauchery so there will surely be something for every half-mind who visits.
- Friday Night – 7:69pm – 12:69am
Thunderstruck – Want to play 5 hours of Thunderstruck? Who doesn’t? We might even play the live version just to mix things up. Come and get a patch.
- Saturday Night – 7:69pm – 12:69am
Lebowski Night – Dress as your favorite Lebowski character and drink white russians and oat sodas with us. If you’re envisioning a suite full of hashers in green bikinis, then you’re probably right. You’d better go find a cash machine!
- Sunday Night – 7:69pm – 12:69am
Garbage Booze night at The Big Hump – All the grain alcohol, fortified wine, and regret you can stomach. Fun games and activities to include blind tastings, shave the hobo, and a dunk tank! Wait, what? No dunk tank. Fuck.
**All activities subject to change before, during or after the posted day/time. Day/time subject to change also. Just plan on beer and fun stuff.
We are Lunar H3 and we are going to the moon! And while we are an online kennel, we have raised over $23,000 for Make A Wish and we’re not stopping now.
Why come to our room? We will have the best in food, art, music and adventure. We will have galactic cocktails, top of the line support staff and fun fact: our Hashpitality suite was once rented by Pablo Escobar!
Our room theme will be Lost in Space.
We will have fundraising opportunities such us as a kissing booth, star stencil body/finger(ing) painting, photo booth, temporary tattoos, star donation wall and a few more.
Here is our schedule of events:
- Friday 9pm-12:00am, Lunar will host a shooting star lazy river trail.
- Saturday 6pm-10pm Lunar H3 will hold a virtual trail in the suite
- Sunday afternoon 1pm-4pm Lunar H3 will hold a white water lazy river trail
(Mismanagement reserves the right to change the events depending on the toxicity of the lazy river after 2000 hashers have been stewing in it for a weekend)
Black Rock City
Cum visit the Black Rock City Hash House Harriers at the Hashpitality Suite of Bad Decisions. The BRCH3 hashes together once a year at Burning Man and our suite will be a desert-themed affair full of radical self-expression, sweet beats, cuddle puddles, picklebacks and more. The BRCH3 will provide free-flowing beer, signature cocktails, spankings, body painting and treats to make you feel like you are hanging out with us on the playa.
The suite will be open Friday, from 4-8 and AFTER TRAIL on Saturday and Sunday.
H5 Shitshow Philly
THE EAST COAST CLUSTERFUCK – a group of hashers loud-hailing from H5 (Harrisburg Hershey), Ben Franklin Mob (Philadelphia), and DC Road Whores at large – are combining talents and preparing to service you by maintaining law and disorder at Phoenix InterAm!!!
Guard your dirty secrets carefully, wanks, because our roaming detectives will be out patrolling in force! They may write you a summons to appear in our hash jail cell. You might be called onto our stripper pole to pay penance for your accusations. You might even be lured into the glitter shower and forced to drop the soap. You’ll never know what’s cumming next. Hoping to keep your transgressions private? Prefer to drink our liquids under the safety of darkness? Well, that’s a pity. Because this hashpitality suite will honor your worst with selfie-stockades and shenanigans that will be broadcast live across InterAm through Brown Noser’s infamous Podcast. Your mother better have bail money ready…
I caution you to be vigilant! Our cops are sexy and they like to have fun, but they are not afraid to lay down the law. All over your face. Like a badge of honor.
Our proposed hours of operation are Friday 11 to 2, Saturday Post trails 4 to 7, and Sunday post trail 4 to 7.
Signed: Chief of Police Wishboneher
CC:Colonel Bang For Ur $$$, Major Spare My Finger, Captain District 69
San Diego H3
San Diego Area IAH Hashpitality Suite
The twenty kennels of San Diego County, Temecula Valley and Baja California Norte welcum you to San Diego Area Hashpitality Suite. San Diego has amongst THE BEST craft brew culture in America and we are excited to showcase our beers (and non-beer options) to you.
Our Hashpitality theme represents the SoCal attitude. “Life’s A Beach: The Suite Life of San Diego.” Our suite is continuous with the pool area. “No Shoes? No Shirt? No bikini top? No Problem!” Fill up your mug, find refuge in our cool lounge, chill to our suite-ass music and catch up with old friends.
Bring your camera for selfies and group pictures! We will have several photo backdrops depicting fun landscapes. Not need to drive 6 hours to the beach, zoo, wine country or T.J. Special Guest of Honor: Seattle hash royalty!
In addition to keg beer, the San Diego Area Hashpitaility Suite will have fundraising “Hashy Hour”. Each day we’ll showcase a premium drink to which hashers can make a nominal donation. All proceeds for back to the not-for-profit InterAmericas General Fund to help fund more beer:
- Friday – Carbonated Red Hibiscus Flower (Jamaica) Tea with Vodka.
- Saturday – Tequila/Mezcal of Baja California; additional beers and ciders of San Diego County, Temecula, Baja California).
- Sunday – Sangria. Sangria. Sangria. Grassy Ass makes THE BEST G*d D*amn M*tha F*ckin sangria (or it may be a margarita) made from scratch.
We are greatly looking forward in sharing our SoCal charm, style, drinks and passion for hashing. ON-ON.
-The San Diego Area Hashpitality Team
If you have questions, please email Purple Penis Protector and On The Rag at firstname.lastname@example.org