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2017 Phoenix InterAmerica’s Hash Trail Sign-Ups

On Friday, 10/6/17 at 4pm you will be able to go to Eventbrite (www.eventbrite.com) and sign up for all Saturday and Sunday trails. This synopsis pertains only to Saturday and Sunday’s trails. (Friday Welcome Trail and Monday Hangover Trail will be open to all that skirt 69 Ways To Die in The West…so you’ll just need to show up!)

Also here under the Trails section: CLICK

If anyone wants to threaten their closest friendships, see the most demure person lose their mind, orchestrate a 10069 comment fb thread, or play it fast and loose(!) with acceptable noise levels, try debating trail sign up’s for large hash events. Maybe in November we’ll look at each other in the eye again? I’m kidding? I’m kidding…kind of ;).

1st Question:  Technology is in bed with Heineken, and I prefer my abacus or at least a dumb-phone, how can I sign up for a trail? I am from another country and have no access to an International plan, what do I do? I don’t know how to work Eventbrite. I will be without cell service or on a plane on Friday.
1st Answer:  Phone a friend. Sidle on up to a millennial and ask for a tutorial or just give them your log in and have them sign you up. 2000 people, you’ve got this. Ask a stranger at a gas station, whatever works. Get their number while you are at it. Ask friends for help. The Pointe Hilton Squaw Peak also has a business center with a computer that may be used.

2nd Question:  Will Eventbrite crash with everyone trying to do it(#) at once?
2nd Answer: Eventbrite is a large and proven ticketing system, and it is free! We have no reason to believe there will be an issue there. Plan B would be paper sign up’s Friday night, but we very much do not think this is realistically going to not work.

C Question:  But I thought you were doing 6:01am trail sign ups?
C Answer:  We know that was a “popular” option, but we just want to watch the world burn.

4th Question:  I couldn’t get on my first or second choice of trail, they filled up immediately! What do I do?
4th Answer:  No one quite understands, but Phoenix seems to keep breaking sell out records faster than Liar Liar Crotch On Fire can run the beer mile. We’d suggest you have a ranked list of picks for your preferred trails, 1st-5th choices, hell, maybe 1st-10th! Go down you list. You can also sign up for both Saturday and Sunday then, so chances are if you hustle you can get favorable trails in your eyes. Truly, we are behind every trail we are throwing, there is not a bad one! An immense amount of work has been put into these trails.

5th Question:  How do I know what trails I would like so I can plan my fastest fingers in the west routine for Friday?
5th Answer:  Trail summaries will be posted on the website ahead of time, probably by 9/1/17. They are also being printed as part of a book that you will receive as a gimme the weekend of. You can look everything over and figure out what is best for you and go from there. There will be a picture or two for each trail as well.

F Question:  Why not paper sign ups?
F Answer:  Queues. Physically needing to remove yourself from whatever awesome time you are having to get in said line.

6.9th  Question:  Why sign-ups at all? Just get on a bus. The other bus is always gonna suck! Silly overly Mismanagementy Phoenix hashers!
6.9th Answer:  Have you seen 2000 people in one place? Have you seen them try to fit through a bus door? How about emotionally charged chaos while holding hands and running from bus to bus as you just miss a cut off for space on one. How fun is queuing outside in a parking lot in AZ heat for G knows how long? Or worse, a beer less mob of people uncertain on if they are about to do a Ballbuster or a 3 mile trail?

8th Question:  Why Friday at 4pm?
8th Answer:  We expect nearly everyone to be in AZ by then with internet access, few/no more rego transfers, and you have 1-2 sleeps to get on board with whatever you have signed up for. Probably by Friday you have already hooked up(!) with new and old hasher friends, and if you wish, you can try to get on the same trail. Gotta lay that groundwork for the next evening or else cuddle yourself. There is a slim hope you won’t be too intoxicated at 4pm, no need to interrupt the Welcome Trail, and it is early enough for us to get lists printed and finalize anything unforeseen afterwards. Who are we kidding, you are probably going to be too intoxicated…it’s worth a shot.

9th Question:  I overslept. I changed my mind. I didn’t get on the trail I signed up for. I’m a half-mind, I’m a drunk, and I want to hash!
9th Answer:  Everyone signed up for a trail will need to be on their bus 10 minutes ahead of when it leaves and all checked in with the bus captain. You sign up on Eventbrite and get a spot, it is your seat, and it is promised! Hard line on timing for Saturday/Sunday trails, NOT hash time. In the last 10 minutes before the bus departs, anyone not on the bus that signed up for the trail loses their spot, and anyone there that wants to can just get on-on! If you REALLY mess up and oversleep you can always do the Zippy Trail around the hotel, or do the trail that leaves from the hotel and is bus free! That said, the trails are stellar, drag your bruised liver out of bed and fill those buses. It’s worth it.

10th Question:  This is stupid. You should have done ________. I don’t want to even go anymore.
10th Answer:  Please bid for 2019 InterAm and put us in our place at http://www.phoenixhhh.com/details/schedule-of-events/bidding/. Please sell your rego for $199 at http://www.phoenixhhh.com/details/sign-up/. #screwphoenix

K Question:  (Insert question on Trail Sign-Up’s that isn’t addressed here)
K Answer:  (TBD)

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JULY Newsletter

We’ve got a lot to cover this month!!!  Please read through all sections!

Welcome to the July 2017 InterAm Update!  Please monitor our InterAm website (interam.phoenixhhh.org) and FB posts as the event draws ever closer to make sure you are well aware of any updates to the event.  Our mis-management team continues to work diligently to make sure that the 2017 InterAm event is enjoyable to everyone that registered.

2017 Phoenix InterAmerica’s Hash Theme

“69 Ways to Die in the West”  Stay tuned for specific theme night announcements, but you get the idea of where this is going. Wankers, tidy up your most cleavage inducing saloon girl corset, and bimbos, put on your best whores, er horse costume…or something?

Room Cancellation Information

If you have questions about your reservation or need to cancel your room please contact the hotel directly. The InterAm planning committee doesn’t have access to reservations. If you cancel your reservation it will still only be available for rebooking to registered InterAm participants and not open to the public.   No muggles will be sold rooms or be on property (except for employees). There is more information below in the Hotel section.

BAZAAR PREVIEW

Spot reservations are due no later than August 31! Send your contact information to Jugs Juicy, the Bazaar’s benevolent dictator using the Bazaar form at:  http://www.phoenixhhh.com/details/bazaar/

We currently have 28 Haberdashers representing their kennels signed up! The Bazaar schedule is under the Bazaar section on the InterAm Website.

Any other questions regarding the Bazaar? Shoot us an email at Interambazaar@phoenixhhh.org.

MEDIA UPDATES

We’ve opened up Ad sales for the InterAm magazine to all kennels, haberdashers, businesses, and we even have personal message options!  You get 100 characters to say whatever you’d like! Remember, if it’s beyond 100 characters it will get cut off (i.e. Bobbit’d).

Advertisement Types

We will have a limited number of magazine advertisement space available at the following rates:

  • 100 character personal message for $10
  • 1/8 page (2.54 x 1.95 inches) for $100
  • 1/4 page (2.54 x 3.9 inches) for $150
  • 1/2 page (5.08 x 3.9 inches) for $250
  • Entire page (5.08 x 7.8 inches) for $400 (LIMITED)
  • Two entire pages for $700 (SOLD OUT)

To order ad space, please use this link:  ORDER ADS

Descriptions of Ad requirements are on the order page.

Notes for personal message: If you type in “Broke Dick Mounting lays the best trails in Phoenix. You can always count on him to lay a trail farther than the other hares!” Your message will be cutoff to say this: “Broke Dick Mounting lays the best trails in Phoenix. You can always count on him to lay a trail fart”

Count your characters!

BONUS: Those who purchase a half page and larger will also get their ad placed on our InterAm sponsorship page on the InterAm website.

Please visit the advertisement shop by CLICKING HERE!

If you have questions, please contact:  InteramMedia@phoenixhhh.org

VOLUNTEER INFO!

Our volunteer form is now available!  If you are interested in helping out during InterAm, please use the link below to sign up and be a hash hero!

Volunteer Form Link (if link doesn’t work, please copy and paste this URL:  https://goo.gl/forms/ez92nWE2jr5joNoA3 )

TRAIL UPDATES

New Safety Video!!!

For you wanking pleasure…OUR SECOND SAFETY VIDEO! Phoenix very much wants you to be alive to attend or host the 2019 InterAmerica’s Hash. Safety Third…errr, FIRST!

https://vimeo.com/226243448

Password: onon

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You know we aren’t just sending you out into beating sun and sand, right? We’ve put together 69 (give or take) beeeautiful and varied trails for your hashing pleasure – do not miss this! Enjoy forests, mountains, high desert, lakes and rivers! As long as you come prepared with shiggy socks, sun-protection, and hydration gear – we promise you’ll have a great time.

A huge thanks to all of our friends who have stepped up to help us put on these trails! Some out-of state hares have even visited to check out their trails. We’ve had fun getting to know you all better and can’t thank you enough! If you volunteered for trails but have NOT been contacted yet, please let us know by emailing interamtrails@phoenixhhh.org

HASHPITALITY UPDATES!

We have many fantastic hashpitality suites located around the resort during InterAm!  Here are a few to get you even more excited about your time in Arizona!

LARP H3

Do you like Unicorns?
Do you like boobs?
Do you need more people wearing sarongs in your life?
Have you always wanted to do a Zippy Trail?

Then do we have a room for you!  LARP H3 (Lard Asses Running Poorly) is here to support your plan to NEVER LEAVE CAMP! So, whether it’s your plan to NEVER LEAVE CAMP or you miss the trail sign ups or bus departure, LARP H3 has you covered.  Throw on your sarong and stop in and hare a trail or two (over to the keg), pick up a limited-edition Kennel patch for $3, snuggle with Fluffles the mascot, chill on one of the giant inflatable chairs for a spell, see if TNT will show you how she got named, or start up a game of 3-Man!  When will this amazing room be ready for you?!  Friday 3pm until Dinner, Saturday/Sunday 10am-Dinner.

But wait there’s more!  Cider is a way of life, mimosa’s happen, rabbit food and orange food are a thing, and boozy punch why not!!   You never know WHEN—so you need to come back frequently!

See you soon,
TNT
Grand Mistress

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MADISON H3

Bimbos and Wankers!

What is Wisconsin famous for? Beer! Cheese! Serial Killers! Meat in our Bloody Marys! Three of those things are pretty fucking awesome! Come to the MadisonH3 Hashpitality Suite for a celebration of all things Wisconsin, where you definitely won’t be killed and eaten. Probably.

To start with, we’ll have an adventure in the Great North Woods, where people subsist on beef jerky because the refrigerator is too far from the fishin’ hole to bother and have sex with deer because Finns and Norwegians are too antisocial to risk having sex with each other! We’ll play traditional Wisconsin drinking games like “Drink”, where you drink to avoid talking to your fishing buddies. The day after our trip to Up Nort’ we’ll need to kill our hangovers with a traditional Sconnie brunch. Because puking sucks, so why not make it worse by making sure you’re puking Bloody Mary (or extra spicy Bloody Maria), pickled herring, and beefstick! And when you think all the Wisconsin is finally too much, we’ll celebrate all the various sexual misadventures that occurred during InterAm by hosting a Ouisconsing Wedding! New Glarus beer! Polka! Hammerschlagen! Flippy (Strippy?) Cup! On-On Wisconsin!

Thanks!
Hardigan

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Big Hump H3

We’re bringing a taste of St. Louis to the Phoenix this year in the Big Hump H3 Hashpitality suite.  Come and experience all that St. Louis hashing has to offer, minus the shitty running part. We have 5 kennels, each with their own style of debauchery so there will surely be something for every half-mind who visits.

Friday Night – 7:69pm – 12:69am

Thunderstruck – Want to play 5 hours of Thunderstruck?  Who doesn’t?  We might even play the live version just to mix things up.  Come and get a patch.

Saturday Night – 7:69pm – 12:69am

Lebowski Night – Dress as your favorite Lebowski character and drink white russians and oat sodas with us.  If you’re envisioning a suite full of hashers in green bikinis, then you’re probably right.   You’d better go find a cash machine!

Sunday Night – 7:69pm – 12:69am

Garbage Booze night at The Big Hump – All the grain alcohol, fortified wine, and regret you can stomach.  Fun games and activities to include blind tastings, shave the hobo, and a dunk tank!  Wait, what?  No dunk tank.  Fuck.

**All activities subject to change before, during or after the posted day/time. Day/time subject to change also. Just plan on beer and fun stuff.

HOTEL UPDATES

FIRST AND FOREMOST….be kind to the hotel staff if you have interactions with them. We are a very large group of half-minds who are taking over their hotel and there are so many more of us than them. I assure you, they want to make our event the best possible but we need to give them some extra hash love. They’ve never had to deal with a group like us before.

If you have questions about your reservation or need to cancel your room please contact the hotel directly. The InterAm planning committee doesn’t have access to reservations. If you cancel your reservation it will still only be available for rebooking to registered InterAm participants and not open to the public.

If you did not get a room at the hash hotel there are a few in close proximity that are listed below. There are not any special hash rates at these hotels, but as of June 11th there was still availability at both. I’m sure there are others in the area that also have availability, but the Best Western is walking distance and the Tapatio is the sister property to the hash hotel.

Best Western InnSuites:  https://www.innsuites.com/phoenix-biltmore-hotel.html

Pointe Hilton Tapatio Cliffs Resort:  http://www.tapatiocliffshilton.com/

If there are any other hotel questions please reach out to us at InteramHotel@phoenixhhh.org. Remember, the Facebook page isn’t monitored for questions and if you post there it might get missed.

MEMORIALS

Interam is a chance to remember hashers who have passed away. If someone you know has passed away in the last two years, please let us know at interammedia@phoenixhhh.org.

Please include:

  • Hash Name
  • Home Kennel
  • Photo if you have one

REMINDER:  UPDATE YOUR INFO

Is your ticket information up to date and accurate? Better check to make sure! Why is it important?

  • You’ll need a legal ID to check in, and if your nerd name is still showing as “Busted Colostomy Bag,” you’re not going to get in!

  • We are getting ready to negotiate meals, and if you don’t like bacon… wait. Everyone loves bacon, right? Seriously, though. We want to ensure that everyone gets the kind of food they love to eat. Make sure your food preference is correct!

  • What if there are personalized gimmees? You don’t want your hash name to show as “Dudley Does Dookie” instead of “Dudley Does Debbie!”

  • Why spell out your kennel name? Because LBH3 stands for Lost Boobs H3, as well as Long Beach H3. H4 can be Houston H3, Hobart H3, or Hangover H3. Please be kind to our statistical nerds!

How do you check your ticket to make sure it’s accurate? Simple! Click the “Modify My Ticket” link in your Registration Success email! Didn’t think that email was important enough to save? No problem! Go to HashingTickets.com, click the “Manage My Purchased Tickets” at the top of the page, enter the requested information, and you’ll receive a new email!

IMPORTANT! Admittedly, it’s rather tedious, but if you want your updated information saved, you’re gonna have to do it.

  • Nerd name, address and phone number updated? Make sure you click the “Update” button beneath that section.

  • Food choice, Hash Name, Kennel, or Shirt Size updated? Make sure you click the save button after each answer. Yes, there’s one save button for each question. Just do it!

Registration questions? Please email us at interamRegistration@phoenixhhh.org

SELLING YOUR REGISTRATION?

If you are selling your rego, you’re silly, but hey, it’s all right, we still love you. Don’t you dare charge any other person in our hashing community even 69 cents over what you paid for it. To recap, everyone paid $199 for their rego. Sell it for that. Or less. If you don’t, you’re a jerk, and people will shame you. G sees all and hashers certainly can’t keep their mouth shut for any number of reasons. Work out payment between yourselves, and when you and the buyer have shaken hands on it, given handies over it, whatever, go into hashingtickets.com and go through the transfer registration process. Done.

We are monitoring our FB InterAm group and listening to hashers who have complained to make sure no one is selling their registration for more than the face value ($199)  We will stop this abuse by refunding the original amount and removing the offending hasher from InterAm.  Selling your InterAm registration for more than you paid is a dick move, don’t do it.

This decision was based on some un-hash-like behavior.  Please be good hashers.  Thanks.

FAQ: http://www.phoenixhhh.com/details/faq/#registration