Lost Boobs Hash Haring Guide
Current LBH Hareraiser:
Alllrighty Men / Jon Jakucki (520) 481-4092
First thing’s first: read this Haring Guide! You’re already here so that’s a good first step. If you cannot read, please see Whore’s Whisperer for a reading lesson. Also how are you reading this then?
Every kennel is a bit different and may have different rules. This guide is specific to LBH. It will detail the rules and responsibilities of haring an LBH trail as well as layout the general order of tasks involved in haring. Some tasks can be done slightly out of order but perhaps leave that for when you know what the hell you’re doing.
Choose a Date
See the Haring Schedule to see which dates are still available. If your chosen date is already taken, too bad, you should have volunteered earlier.
Choose a Starting Location
Starting locations must
|Have room for us|
|Stay open until 11pm or later|
The best places also have
|Good food and drink specials|
|Access to light rail|
|A dog friendly area|
The Haring Schedule will also show where we have been hashing. Try to choose an area that we haven’t been to recently so we don’t overlap trails and get bored of hashing in the same place. The Hareraiser may have you choose a different bar so have at least one back up ready.
LBH hashes in the central Phoenix Metro area (Phoenix/Tempe/Scottsdale) but hashes a little further out within reason are acceptable from time to time.
LBH can occasionally start at a park or residence, but any non-bar location MUST be approved by Mismanagement well in advance.
Choose a Co-Hare
If it’s your first time haring an LBH, you should pair up with at least one experienced LBH hare. There’s a lot that goes into haring. They will be responsible for showing you the ropes and making sure you don’t fuck up too badly.
Typically, an LBH will have 2 hares. Only 2 hares get to hash for free. You may have 3 or 4 hares total but hash cash will only be covered for 2. I suggest playing naked twister; best two hash for free.
Solo haring an LBH is not for beginner hares.
2+ Weeks Before Your Chosen Haring Date
Notify the Hareraiser
Preferably, fill out the LBH Haring Sign-Up Questionnaire. You can contact the HR, directly but you will just have to answer the same questions anyways. Save us both time and fill out the questionnaire and wait for the HR to contact you to confirm your date and location. Also notify the HR if you are planning anything out of the ordinary (i.e. themes, special checks, or other surprises).
Contact the Bar
Go to the bar and speak to manager in person, failing that, get a number to contact them. Give them a card (can be obtained from the Hareraiser or MM) and tell them a little about us (not TOO much). Make sure that they won’t mind the ORGY chant and that they can handle a rush of people around 6-7pm and again at 9:30. If you’re unsure how many hashers to expect, ask MM to guesstimate for you. Emphasize that we are a good natured, beer loving, good tipping group of folks, 21 years old and above. Also, ask if they can extend Happy Hour or add any specials for us. We like to drink.
Plan/Scout Your Trail
Exactly where it started
Within 1/2 mile of the start
Over 1/2 mile from the start
Every hare has their own method for planning/scouting trail. An entire guide could be written on the topic and maybe I will when I’m bored, but this guide will just list the things you need to consider specifically when planning an LBH trail.
- True trail must be 3-5 miles
- Trail must be walker and runner friendly
- Pack should be in at 8:45pm at the latest
- Trails are typically A-A’ or A-A
- Trail should have one BN
- BN and On-In should be at a park, residence, or some other isolated area so we are less likely to be disturbed by police, security, dogs with knives, etc.
Places to avoid
MM may request that you lay a shorter trail for
A-B trails are difficult, especially with large hashes. You have to plan out the logistics and get MM approval for A-B trails.
The Week Before Your Hash
Update the Facebook Event
The Hareraiser will have created a Facebook event for your hash by now and will make you an admin. The HR will populate it with the general information about your hash that you have already provided, but you should add any extra details like drink specials, dog friendliness, and anything special about your trail.
Follow-Up with the Bar Manager
Remind the manager that we are cuming. They sometimes forget and we want them to be able to handle the rush.
Keep Your Helpers Updated
Recruit the help of a beer angel if one is needed for BN.
Stay in contact with your co-hare(s), beer angel, FM, and BM. There is typically a group chat set up to facilitate necessary communication, but exchanging phone numbers isn’t a bad idea. Your Beer Angel will need to know where BN is and the FM and BM will need to know where the On-In will be so they all can be there on time. Provide them with a map or location information.
Buy Refreshments and Supplies
Foodmeister and Beermeister only provide refreshments for the On-In. It is the hares’ responsibility to buy everything that will be consumed on trail. You will be reimbursed for expenses, but only for the items listed below.
|Beer||Buy enough that there is at least a beer for every hasher. Buy cheap beer; this ain’t no garden party. Buy in bulk at places like Total Wine, Bevmo, Costco where 30 packs are $20 or less.|
|Wine||Check with the BM first to see if there is a leftover box of wine from the last LBH. If not pick up a cheap box to have on hand for the winers.|
|Water||Buy enough water to cover people that aren’t drinking beer. More water tends to get drank in the summer months. No one knows why.|
|Ice||Enough to ensure that the beer and water are cold before the pack arrives at BN. Expect to sit on ice in circle if the BN beer is warm. Oh wait a second…|
|Brown Bags||Hares will be reimbursed up to $20 for BBs. They are welcome to spend more to leave awesome brown bags on trail, but the hares cover the cost.
No illegal substances allowed!
|Chalk & Flour||Have enough to mark trail. If you forget, the HR might have some you can use as long as you ask nicely and give good hugs.|
|Permits||Purchase a permit if BN or On-In is in a park.|
If you are uncertain how many people to expect at your hash, ask MM for an estimate for purchasing purposes.
Save your receipts! You will only be reimbursed if you provide a receipt.
PROTIP: Purchase BBs on a separate receipt so it’s easier to breakout the cost from the other items for reimbursement. Math is hard.
Make sure you have an adequate number of coolers to keep the beer and water cool. Ask around if you need to borrow one.
Note on permits: Although they are generally only good until dusk, it is a show of good faith that you have one to show if the police come by. Keep the permit on your person if there is a problem and you need to whip it out.
The Day of Your Hash
Don’t show up late. You still have some work to do before your trail.
Sign in with hash cash; you get to sign the log above the line this time! If you have more than 2 hares, have the extra hares pay hash cash. Also note that any beer angel(s) still have to pay hash cash.
Turn in your receipts to hash cash to get reimbursed for your expenses. If you’re awesome, you will have already written out the number of your LBH at the top along with a circled total on the receipt for easy processing.
Write out chalk talk
Find a place near the bar, out of the way of foot and car traffic, to write out all the marks that will be included on your trail.
Inform whoever is leading chalk talk of any special marks and explain what they mean.
As with planning/scouting, an entire guide can be written on specifics of laying trail. Below are things to consider specifically for laying an LBH trail.
- You MUST be able to leave when “Hares Away!” is called at 6:45pm
- Lay trail using white or yellow chalk or flour.
- 3 marks after any check is On-On.
- 1 mark after a whichy-way is On-On.
- No using multipliers (i.e. ϾϿ x4).
- Brown Bags and fishhooks are encouraged, but not required.
- Hares often have less of a head(!) start after BN. Plan accordingly or be snared!
- Use marks to slow down the FRBs and keep the pack together the best you can.
- Pre-laying is allowed, but prepare to be called out for it if people notice!
Help Foodmeister and Beermeister Set Up the On-In
They’re awesome to provide their services for your hash, hares are expected tohelp them set up for when the pack arrives.
Drink For Your Shitty trail
Congrats! You have successfully hared an LBH. Expect to drink for your shitty trail and get ready for all the high fives and blow jobs coming your way! (Never happens)
Give Leftovers to the Next Hare(s) or Beermeister
If you have leftover beer, wine, or water, check with the hares for next week if they would like to use it for their BN. Otherwise, give it to the BM to use for On-Ins.
Well done! You made it all the way to the end without dying from boredom! If anything is unclear or not covered in the guide, or if you have any questions about this guide or where babies come from, contact the HR or appropriate MM.