PH3 Traditions

(at least the ones worth mentioning)

The Phoenix Hash House Harriers was founded in July 1988.
Its founders combined their hashing experiences to formulate the characteristics of the Phoenix Hash H3.

Hashing traditions are of course just traditions.  They are not rules.
There are no rules at the hash.  Traditions are more sacred than rules.
Traditions guide hashers through the art of hashing, providing structure while not binding like rules.

Traditions:

    1. We hash to have fun. If you are going to be serious about your running, maybe you should run marathons.
    2. We run as an excuse to drink. We don’t drink as an excuse to run as that would promote running and exercise. It is always better if the exercise happens naturally or by accident.
    3. Beer is our beverage of choice. We do not condone driving under the influence but running under the influence is OK.
    4. We do not force those whose beverage of choice is not beer, to drink beer.
    5. A virgin is someone who has never hashed.  If you are visiting from another hash, you are no longer a virgin.
    6. A proper hash consists of beer before, during, and after the run.
    7. Competitive runners are rewarded with the FRB award which shall be worn by them at the next hash. Competitive runners are easy to spot as they come in first.
    8. Other awards may exist to award such things as:  studly acts (helpful or brave act during the hash), whining (nauseating complaining), hashshit (stupid crap), DFL (dead f*cking last), or just about anything .
    9. Awards are exchanged between the old winner and the new winner at the down down ceremony.  Both will enter the circle with their beverage of choice and exchange the award while consuming their beverage.
    10. When drinking in the circle, your beverage must be full.  If it is not full you may receive donations from the other hashers.  If you are driving, forget the before mentioned items.  The circled hashers will sing a song and then the hasher in the circle will drink his/her beverage.  If at any time the beverage leaves the lips prior to its entire contents being drank, then the remainder must be dumped over the head of the drinker.   Having finished your beverage, you tip it upside down over your head to show the other hashers your drinking skill and you may exit the circle.
    11. The religion will be performed at the end of each run.  This is called “circle”.  The events of the circle are controlled by the GM and the RA in the center.  It is proper hash etiquette to refrain from jaw jacking while the circle is being conducted.  Uncontrolled talking is considered to be a private party and is rewarded by a trip to the circle, or worse.  To gain the attention of the RA, place your beverage on your head and say “pint of lager”.  This will tell the RA you would like to be recognized and address the hash.  Addressing the hash about stupid stuff or wasting the hashes time with ill-timed “pints of lager” will earn you a trip to the circle.
    12. The Religious Advisor will receive the report from the gathered hashers as to the quality of the run.  The poor quality usually results in the hares entering the circle as does good quality.
    13. The Phoenix H3 is a whistle carrying hash and all members are expected to have a whistle on their person unless they are a virgin or a hare.  We blow one long blow to alert other hashers to a bad trail, two short blows to mark hash marks as we find them, and two long blows mean you have found a true trail marker and can not hold back your glee.  When we find a “beer near” marker we always sing out “beer near” as we are as happy as a pig in sh*t. There will be a whistle check at the down-down.  Those without whistles will be considered no-blows and will enter the circle.   If all hashers present have whistles then the hares will enter the circle.
    14. Hashers who have missed 1 run are considered to be returning hashers and will be asked to enter the circle.  Visiting hashers are also accorded this honor.
    15. Virgins are normally brought to the hash by a hasher.  This hasher is considered to be their sponsor and they are responsible for any stupid acts their virgin may commit up until the time their virgin is named.  Virgins will drink at the down-down and their sponsors will normally perform a down-down to educate them on the procedure.
    16. Hashers are named after they have completed 6 hash runs and have hared at least one run.  Or before 3 runs if 2 of them are full moons. Or after 7 months if they are missing more than 3 teeth…..well pretty much whenevr the mood strikes us.
    17. Hashers may be renamed.  Renamings should not be frivolously conducted.  Hashers may have invested in many hash trinkets which identify them, by name,  to the hashing community.  Some hashers will be repulsed by their new name as it is usually depicting something stupid that they did.  If the hasher has been hashing a long time and has some notoriety, his new name may not be accepted by the hashing community at large.  These cases can be remedied by a hash-nick-name.  A nonbinding hash name which only has local use and is not officially assigned as a permanent name.
    18. Hashers may petition for a renaming but woe is he that willingly trusts his fate to hasher comrades.
    19. At the down-down, bullshit skills, tall tales, and frame-ups which cause a fellow hasher to enter the circle are considered par for the course.
    20. There is no pointing at the hash, use your elbow.
    21. Hashers use hash names to communicate with other hashers, no birth names.
    22. Hashing attracts cops so alerting the cops to an upcoming hash is sometimes encouraged, but not always.  This is the job of the hares.
    23. The Phoenix H3 is an adult hash where drinking and bad language flourish.  We do not contribute to the delinquency of minors so those under 21 need to get their beer from their parents.  If you bring children  or animals to the hash, you are responsible for them.  There are sometimes unscheduled but tasteful displays of nudity.
    24. Hashers normally wear outlandish or tasteless clothing to the hash.  Hash shirts are preferred.  Color coordinated running suits are not and could earn you a trip to the circle.
    25. We end each hash with the hash anthem, “Swing Low”.
    26. Drama is the enemy of the hash.
    27. Our Wednesday night hashes tend to be more running and less drinking where as our Saturday hashes tend to have more running as well as more drinking.
    28. Head, who said head, I’ll take some of that. And I did and it was wonderful.  And then we f**ked.  We f**ked for hours, uprooting trees, shrubs and flowers.  And then we f**ked again, this time like Vikings, with horns on our head.  Head, who said head, I’ll take some of that……..