Once upon a time, a young woman was lonely and forlorn. She searched for love high and low, long and short, skinny and fat. She gazed out the window and could not tell the difference between the rain running down the pane and the tears of pain running down her cheeks. All she wanted was to be happy. Would she ever in the whole wide world find someone to love?
Oh, hello. Were you looking for Lost Boobs Hash Trash #154? Its not here. As punishment for Monday’s horrific trail and poor pack behavior, you will herewith be subject to a sappy love story instead of hash trash. The hares: I Punched A Kid, Faux Fruit and Lab Rack did not properly lay trail. Further, the pack of 58 (including four virgins) did not adequately mark checks. Hashing may not have any actual rules, but the true trail mark is sacred and may ONLY be laid by the hares ONLY to mark a true trail.
But back to our story about the true trail to Moany Hawk’s heart (hint: it wasn’t through his stomach). Our lovelorn heroine was attending a party, trying in vain to drink enough to forget her sad life when she saw him. He was holding a corkscrew and he wasn’t afraid to use it on an unsuspecting bottle of Chardonnay. He held out the glass of wine and their eyes met over the rim. Sparks flew like electricity zipping along a wire. His fingers brushed hers and she was overcome with desire. Her mouth went dry and her panties went damp. Everything moved in slow motion and the ocean roared in her ears. She yearned with anticipation to feel his throbbing member plunge into her depths. Her hands trembled and her heart pounded. It was a miracle.
Speaking of miracles, the shit award is back! Hereafter it will be known as the Princess Labia Memorial Shit Award. It was bequeathed to IPAK in a complicated exchange in which Ugly Naked Guy was traded to the Las Vegas Hash House Harriers for a 30 pack of PBR and a 69th round draft pick. Donkey was gently “encouraged” to wrap up circle by a humping dog on one side and a taser on the other end.
As for Moany Hawk and Behold My Bush, the rest is history.