LBH Hash Trash #151

Lost Boobs Hash Trash #151 Pranksters Too, 96 wankers, 9 virgins November 18, 2013 Whackin’ In The Jesus Library

Once again the Lost Boobs return to Pranksters Too, a great place to play some volleyball, see live music, or watch the game, but did we do any of that shit? Hell no, we’re hashers we can do that later. There’s beer to find and if you look maybe you’ll find Jesus on trail or in your heart but mostly on trail. And speaking of Pranksters there was plenty of pranks to be found.

The hares of this straight out and back fiasco were Tic Tac Paddy Whack, Dexter’s Library and What Stripper Would Jesus Do. That’s right it’s three hares, and everyone knows if you want to ruin a trail, add more hares.

The walkers were away first and quickly made their way down the Scottsdale Greenbelt to a brown bag. The runners meanwhile had to deal with an on-over fence with sharpened spikes on the top. Was that a prank? Who knows? After the fence, the runners moved across a couple small dams to find another spiked fence with the walkers on the other side who had just finished up their brown bag. This is the point where half the runners either hopped the fence or followed a whichy way to the walkers trail. Was this a prank or a fuck up? Hmm, I’ll go with prank… Haha, Good one hares! The other half found the real runners trail which led them off into New Mexico somewhere.

One would have expected the runners to quickly overtake the walkers but they somehow didn’t. The majority of the pack minus half the runners crossed McDowell into the backyard of another hash favorite, Dukes. It was there that Garbage Pail Kid found Jesus, was instantly healed from a broken foot, sprinted down the street, and snared a hare. After a confusing few minutes of what the fuck just happened, beer miraculously appeared and all was forgiven. Praise Jesus. But then yet another prank, they moved the beer check away from Dukes (for obvious reasons). The hares weren’t the only pranksters that night however. With the flour bag left unguarded another miracle occurred. The flour turned into soaking wet dough. Maybe Jesus planned to break bread later. Much rejoicing was had at the beer check but then it was time again for the walkers to depart, but wait, the rest of the runners finally arrived. Hurray! Drink fast fuckers.

The second half of the trail was mostly a straight line up Miller road, except for a slight detour for a brown bag. Once we reached Thomas the hares had us play Frogger back and forth across the road. Good thing there was a BVC, but no, there was no BVC. So instead of a prank let’s call that one a fuck up and a good way to get hashers run over. And I thought Jesus saved.

The RA’s had a prank of their own. After starting circle they said “fooled ya” and had the real circle on the other side of a hill. Out of 9 virgins, 7 made it back to circle and that’s like a 69% percent success rate. WooHoo! we all passed with a ‘D’ just like High School. The other 2 virgins are no doubt still out there deciphering marks and giving new meanings to the spray paint left on the ground by construction crews. The hares were celebrated with a rousing version of Old McHasher, and Bill N. was named. Congratulations “Fuck You”.

Oh, and one last prank, this isn’t Behold My Bush.

[It was Cramel Toed]